Now let me start off this post by saying this....I'm no fashion expert. I don't claim to be one. So if as you're reading this post you come cross something that you yourself wear on a daily basis and you're thinking...."Whose this broad? Who the hell does she think she is?" The answer is: Nobody. Yep....I'm nobody. So before you get your panties in a twist and leave me some pissed of comments about how you KNOW you look daayum fine in your high waisted shorts....think of this. I'm just a girl (in the wooooorld: bonus points if you know what I'm referring to) sharing a few of my current fashion irks. Come on.....you know you have some yourself!
And I'm a never say never kind of gal. So I'm completely aware and open to the idea that somebody out there could probably rock the shit out of some of these looks. I just know I will most likely never be one of those people.
In the words of The Peas.....Let's get it started!
High Waisted Shorts
Well I already mentioned it in my preface so I might as well get to the high waisted shorts first. I just don't get it. Why would you willingly wear mom jeans? You know....the ones that make your butt as flat as a Plasma TV and pockets that go on for miles. I just don't see the allure....which may seem odd seeing how just last week I posted that I bought a high waisted bikini. I don't know....something about the bikini seems more retro and cute where as the denim shorts just scream MOM ASS. Am I the only one who sees a huge difference between the two?
And acid washed....
And the absolute WORST of the WORST is the extra puffy/baggy in the pelvic area ones that are rolled. Uuugggghhhh!!!!'
We get it....you have a flat stomach (at least you really should if you wear this) but damn....is it really necessary to only wear half a shirt? I feel like it just screams LOOK AT ME!
And just to make matters worse they always seemed to be paired with those god forsaken shorts
I think this particular combination of shirt (well....half shirt if you want to get technical) and shorts is more annoying to me right now because I just got back from Disneyland and unfortunately 2 of the 3 days I was there were Grad Nights. All I saw was a sea of this same outfit on every 3 out of 5 teenage girls. Mom jeans and Clueless shirts as far as the eye could see. And lots of VERY loud overly projected fake laughing....and lots of flirt punching......but that's another story.
Daisy and Sunflower Print Everything
I remember how in the first grade I thought my sunflower tshirt was the bomb. Fast forward 19 years and I hate it all.
And look at this disaster....a terrible combination of EVERYTHING I have mentioned so far. A triple threat!
I had just googled and saved some daisy clothing images when I ran up to Kohls to buy some work paints. Low and behold they had a whole rack of daisy crap for me to snap pictures of
Grab one in every color while you can! ;)
I can't look at these things without thinking of my mother. She lived in these things when I was little. She even bought me a pair and I wore them before I knew any better. I'm sure they're great for your feet like they claim....good arch support and such.....but I just can't get down with the look!
A few months ago my friend Jade sent me an article on Facebook about how they were making a comeback. She said "Look Wheet! Your mom is in style" Well I guess my mother is more fashionable than me....cuz I just can't do it.
Now even fashion and style bloggers I love are wearing these new metallic ones
And as much as I normally respect thier taste.....Gaaaah! I can't bring myself to like it even a little bit
Have you noticed a pattern so far?? Yea....me too. It's all 90s styles coming back and apparently they just don't work well for me. The only thing to come out the 90s that I still love is flannel and the music.
Pulling us out of the 90s.....
Galaxy Print Crap
Who decided this was a good idea? And how did some many people jump on the bandwagon?
I'd rather not look like a science project
I've actually never seen this trend on somebody in person. I think this one is still sort of "out there" for most people and not very mainstream....BUT....I've seen my fair share of it on fashion blogs. Enough to make me shudder
This look barely worked for Aladdin and it didn't work out too well for MC Hammer either......just sayin.
My friend Niki said it perfectly about these shoes. They're like a BAD cross between moon boots and a medical boot. Yeesh!
Too many velcro-y strips that look like bandages for my taste. And I can't look at them without thinking of Kanye West.....and he annoys me too. How ironic
I'm just seeing these pants really take off and I just don't love them
They're like the 2014 version of the 2005 Gaucho pant craze. Which I sadly took part in when I was entirely too fat to wear such thin cloth over my gigantic ass at the time (but that's another story)
I think there's two main reasons why I don't love them
1. They almost always seem to come in crazy busy prints. I tend to have a much more neutral and basic oriented style using accessories as the pop of color or interest. There is just waaaaay too much going on in these pants for me
2. I don't find the style and cut to be very flattering. I feel like you have to be stick skinny to pull this off. You might think that since they are so flowy and roomy that it would be good for camouflaging..... but I think it does just the opposite. A skinny girl wearing flowy stuff is fine because you know it's just a loose fit and that under all that is a skinny little body. A bigger body in this type of style to me makes it look as if you are trying super hard to cover yourself up....thus making it seem like you are bigger than you really are. Does that make any sense to anyone else??
I will say though....if I ever find a pair at a super amazing clearance price I would totally buy them and wear them as house pants or to bed. I can't deny that they do look amazingly comfortable
Peter Pan Collars
There are 3 reasons I don't like this whole collar action
1. They are usually attached to an already frumpy frock of some sort
when did frumpy school girl become a cute look?
2. Or they make what would otherwise be a cute outfit ugly. Like these....take away the collar I would like it
3. They look about as comfortable as a noose. I don't like crap all up in my neck and throat. Makes me feel like I'm suffocating
Lucky for us they even make Peter Pan Collar necklaces so you can frumpify and outfit as you see fit ;) No sewing necessary
And don't even get me started on the lace doily ones!
I almost didn't even include this one....cuz I actually don't hate it. In fact I like it enough that I've tried them on a handul of times but it ALWAYS ends badly. I think I've finally learned and accepted that it just isn't going to happen
I also realized that it isn't just me. I think it requires a very specific body type to pull it off. You need to be skinny and have the right torso to leg ratio. Any one of those three being off a little bit can throw the entire look off.
Very few girls can pull this look off successfully in my opinion, but those few that do are what kept making me try and try again.
Like look at Lauren Conrad....it looks great on her!
The rest of us just look like we're wearing a giant printed adult diaper. I wish I had pictures of the monstrosity that is me wearing one. It's bad.....real bad!
Here's some not so good ones....