So I did it guys…..I completed a Whole 30 and I have soooooo
much Iwant to tell you about it! In fact, as I started writing this post I realized
it was just way too much information for one post. I’m going to have to divide it up into 2 or 3
posts and hope to god you come back and read the others 😊 So let’s dive
in.....
Why this? Why Now?
I first toyed with the idea of doing a Whole 30 waaaaay back
in September of 2015. Actually, if I’m being completely honest I first
considered it in 2014 when my sister did it with great success but that was
fleeting. It was in September of 2015
that I threw a huge tantrum and wrote THIS POST and was getting back from a
vacation that I really thought it was time for me to do something. But I was in a bad mind set (as the blog post
clearly shows)feeling lazy, struggling to work through some intense personal
issues, and a Whole 30 sounded like WAAAAY more work than I was looking to put
in at the time
Enter….. Isagenix. I
did their full to the T program for the 30 days and lost 12lbs. I was thrilled to see results and only have
to think about one meal a day and a couple snacks. It was the epitome of easy and exactly what I
was looking for at that point in time, but I was never jaded by the fact that
ultimately it wasn’t doing anything to help me long term. It wasn’t getting to the root of the problem at all. I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t actually making me address the
deeper issues I was having with food and myself, but I was in the mindset of “Just
lose some of the weight now and I can deal with all that shit later.” Welp…..later is now. After the initial month I still stuck it out
for about a year off and on, but not with the same dedication. Basically, I got really sick of drinking my
meals, missed eating food terribly, and the taste and texture that used to not
bother me at all became disgusting to me to where I was gagging the shakes
down.
I went back to my old stand by of eating keto, but still being
deep in an unhealthy mind set I couldn’t keep my shit together for more than a
few days at a time before completely blowing it and ultimately making myself
gain more weight. The strength, will
power, and ease that I had once had for 3 years being keto was no longer
natural for me. I struggled constantly
and started to have a binge type mind set worse than I had ever had
before. I became obsessed with
opportunities to eat bad food. Planning
things out waaay in advance, binging when I was alone, and basically turning
every Sunday into a free for all. The Boy and I were ordering in copious
amounts of food (Uber Eats is seriously dangerous, it’s the food version of
having your drug dealer on speed dial) and eating off it all day long. Then when evening time came around and the
threat of Monday and having to “get back on the wagon” looming I would be
searching for one last fix at 9pm.
Sometimes going to pick up ice cream, other times hitting the gas station
for a donut, or sending The Boy to retrieve so some salty French fries. I was basically like a junkie shooting up in
the van on the way to the airport before entering rehab.
I completely recognized the sickness of my behavior too but
would still shovel the food in my face.
It was insane. My inner dialogue sounded something like this: “Stop
eating you fat fuck...just STOP!!” As dramatic as it sounds, I would sometimes
be crying as I was eating and having these thoughts but it never made me put the food down. I just felt so incredibly out of control. I’ve had a weight issue since I was 14 (read
all about that here) but this was on a whole other level. I could tell that this was getting to a point
where it was much more than needing to lose some weight. I needed to fix what was going on in my head.
I started to plan doing a Whole 30 In February of 2018 all
the way back in October of 2017. I knew
I couldn’t handle it during the holidays...it just wasn’t going to happen. I still had my junkie mind set of trying to
get it all in before I had to give it up. I purposely planned not to start on January first (like seemingly the
rest of the world lol) because I was planning to have leftovers from the New
Years to still eat. Whaat?? How pathetic
is that? I’m telling you.....I was constantly looking for excuses to eat badly. There didn't even end up being any leftovers,
but since I had already planted that seed that I was going to eat bad it was like I was
giving myself permission to keep making bad choices up until February 1st.
Luckily, I came to my senses and decided I was ready NOW and
moved up my start date to January 15th. As cheesy as it sounds, I had such peace when
it came time to start. For the first
time in a really, REALLY long time, I felt ready to make a change. I think it stems from the fact that this was
the first time ever in my 28 years on this earth that I was doing something
about my eating for more than weight loss. I was tired of feeling like shit both physically and mentally.
Physically I was ready to pinpoint the foods that were making me feel miserable
and bloated all. The. time. Mentally, I
was ready to fix this unhealthy obsession I was having with food. Every other
“start” before this had always been to reach a certain weight. I honestly set out this time just wanting to
feel better. Not to be a certain weight
by a certain date, but to get healthy in both body and mind....and while that
is actually a bigger task than JUST losing weight, it came with a sense of
relief and overall a lot less pressure because I was giving myself some grace
and all the time I needed to get there.
Lastly, I also desperately needed to prove to myself that I
can accomplish something. That I CAN do
hard things and that I am not just a weak piece of shit with no self discipline
(all things I was thinking about myself at the time). I was ready!
Biggest Struggles
I predicted that my two biggest struggles would be eating
breakfast, getting REALLY sick of all the cooking and crap that comes with it,
and staying off the scale. I was
right. I will say though, I did take a
step back and try to objectively evaluate whether these were just
self-fulfilled prophecies or actual things I was feeling........they were for
real.
Breakfast-I’m
not much of a breakfast eater at all. I
usually drink my coffee and then don’t eat for anywhere for 3-5 more hours
depending on the day. Whole 30
specifically addresses this and recognizes how hard it can be to go from
nothing to a full-fledged breakfast within an hour of waking up. They are completely ok with you starting off
small and working your way up and I was completely prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for though was how
even the smallest amount of food in the morning made me want to throw up for
HOURS. Unfortunately, my body does this weird thing where anything like stress,
lack of sleep, or my schedule being out of wack will set my gag reflex off
something fierce!I spent the first 5 days just trying not to throw up every
morning. By Day 6 I was hopeful that it
would get better because my body was starting to finally feel hungry for
breakfast, so it was pretty crazy to me that even with the hunger my body was
still basically rejecting food and I was lucky if I could get a hard boiled egg
down within 2 hours of waking. I’ll
spare you the full 30 day play by play.....but it got a tiny bit better by the
end. But not by much.
I’m so tired of all the COOKING!!- This is a really common theme for Whole 30ers
and the program definitely addresses it. It can be a huge reason why people jump ship. You are putting so much time into all of
it. The shopping, the label reading, the
prepping, the cleaning...all for 3 square meals a day is a lot. I’m not sure anyone can honestly say it
isn’t. Remember thought...its only 30 days!
Just as predicted, there was a day early into
Week 3 that I threw a tantrum. I didn’t
want to cook. I didn’t want my husband
to cook for me because that would still mean there’s a mess in my kitchen. I
wanted nothing to do with any food coming out of my kitchen. I just wanted to eat out and my one compliant
option was a bridge too far for me to go get at that point....so I went to bed
cranky and hungry like a child. I
powered through it for the next couple
of days and later in the week I treated myself to a Five Guys burger.It was
jut what I needed to give myself that mental break from it all and then I got
right back to it the next day/meal.
Staying Off The Scale-
Me and the scale are hot and cold. I either weigh myself obsessively every day for months at a time, or
don’t weigh myself at all for months on end because I don’t want to know the
damage. There is no in between with me. The obsessive weighing comes into play when I
am actively trying to make a change, like the Whole 30. Because I was feeling SOOOO good I
desperately wanted to get on the scale and see if it reflected how I felt. As hard as it was and the curiosity KILLED
me, I trucked though it and never broke the rules.
Non Scale Victories + Other Things That Came To Light
Drinking Diet Soda- Sometimes I’m all about it, other times I can leave it just fine. Right before I started Whole 30 I did notice
that I was pounding them like a frat boy but the WHY hadn’t really occurred to
me. I just figured I was “on it” again
with grapefruit soda (Squirt & Fresca are my jam!). Day 1 of Whole 30 I had just gotten home from
work and I was incredibly thirsty, and I instantly reached for a can of good
ole Diet Dementia. I stopped myself,
made note of it, then poured myself a glass of water. This knee jerk reaction to grab a soda when I
was thirsty repeated the next few days until I realized that I was never really
cracking a can because I wanted the soda at all. I mean ya, I like the taste but that wasn’t
even why. All this time I had been going
straight for the soda because it was easier and faster. See, me and The Boy live in the primitive ages
and we don’t have a fridge with the built in filter/dispenser. We depend on an old school Brita filter to
get cold and delicious agua. Without even
consciously realizing it I was only drinking the soda out of pure
laziness. Because pouring myself a glass
of water might mean I need to refill the pitcher (oh the humanity!). Or change out the filter (how do I even live
with in such disadvantage??). Or I
wouldn’t get the full glass I wanted and either have to wait or mix it with tap
(that’s just a travesty!) Basically, I
was being a lazy ass and I was finally realizing it and calling myself out on it. Now is when I would look directly into the
camera with a big stupid grin on my face givings a thumbs up and say “THANKS
Whole 30!”
Eat Yo Veggies- Eating veggies has never been an issue for
me. I like them so it’s not like I had
this aversion to them and starting Whole 30 was forcing me to eat them….not the
case at all. I did however realize that
I had not been making them much of a priority. I had plenty of meals that would have a
minimal amount, or while cooking the entrée I would be so ready to just eat I
would skip making them and we would just load up on the entrée alone. Having the Whole 30 meal template made me pay
attention and now my veggie intake has easily doubled if not tripled.
Making veggies a priority has also made me better at utilizing
all my groceries. For quite a while
before Whole 30 I had developed the terrible habit of letting my produce go to
waste. I always bought plenty of fresh
produce with full intentions of including them in all my meals….but before you
knew it I had a brown puddle at the bottom of the veggie drawer and floppy celery.
Now I am continually going through the fridge to see what I have and incorporate
whatever needs to go in that days sides
Energy- About a week in I noticed huge differences in my
energy levels. I have been told by a lot
of people that I am the yawniest person they’ve ever met. It’s true.
I yawn more than Sleepy in Snow White.
Usually by 1pm I spend about 80% of my time with my eyes closed and
mouth gaping open. Once I got home from
work I would spend the entirety of the evening just trying to get the bare minimum
done before melting into a puddle of uselessness on the couch. Accomplishing anything felt like the biggest
task as I was always physically exhausted.
Once Whole 30 came around I found myself yawn free at work
and then coming home and zipping around get laundry done, dinner cooked, lunches
packed, clothes ironed , floor swept and
mopped…..the list goes on. I couldn’t believe
how productive I was being but always being the skeptic I just chalked it up to
mental motivation rather than energy.
But after another week I could no longer deny that it was largely attributed
physically feeling completely different. Food really does some crazy shit! (both good and bad)
Drinking- I was
drinking way too much. Not in a “look in
the camera and spell out your name” kind of way.
But in an it just became too much of a habit
kind of way. I had stopped making it a purposeful decision and it had become more
of a ritual. Like it’s Friday night…..so
I drink to celebrate the end of the week.
It’s Saturday, so of course that means it’s time for Tequila! On Sunday
it was “Crap! The work week starts
tomorrow….let’s have some drinks to get ready.” And of course, with that came less
productivity, and more snacking and hunger. These were things I hadn’t seen in myself until
drinking wasn’t an option. Ultimately,
it’s working against all my goals for getting healthier, so I have taken a step
back and really set myself boundaries. I
have only had 3 drinks since finishing Whole 30 over a month ago and I am going
to put a real effort into making it a conscious decision rather than an
automatic response. I’m sure it will come much easier someday, but until I get
more weight off and break it as habit I
have to follow the rules I have set for myself.
Bloating & Stomach Issues- Besides feeling rotund, the
other physical aspect that made me start Whole 30 was my constant stomach
issues. I would eat a meal and instantly
blow up and stay that way for the rest of the day. I would be so uncomfortable I couldn’t even
concentrate on anything else. I also had
the LOUDEST stomach on the planet. It
has always been a joke between me and The Boy about how my stomach is so
talkative. But I was getting sick and
tired of feeling so self-conscious about it when I was stuck in quiet rooms surrounded
by people. I would get struck with such
anxiety over it.
3 days into Whole 30 my gut felt SO GOOD! No noise, no bloating,…..it felt “clean.” I’ll talk more about this and what the
culprit was in my post about reintroduction, but this was one of my biggest
Whole 30 victories hands down.
So honestly…..Did I Ever Cheat?
My answer to this question is no, I never cheated or slipped
up. Here is one of my favorite Whole 30
quotes tough love style on “slip ups”
Don’t even consider the
possibility of a “slip.” Unless you physically tripped and your
face landed in a pizza, there is no “slip.” You make a choice to eat something
unhealthy. It is always a choice, so do not phrase it as if you had an
accident. Commit to the program 100% for the full 30 days. Don’t give yourself
an excuse to fail before you’ve even begun.
I did however ingest two things during the 30 days that were non-compliant. So how can I say I never
cheated? Let me explain…..
My job has two parts to it.
Half of it is full blown office work, the other half is catering and recipe
development. The caterings always seem
to come in waves where I got a bunch at once, then sometimes I spend 2 weeks in
the office. It just so happens that my first week of Whole 30 there was a shit
ton of caterings. I instantly started to
get stressed so I sat down and wrote out a plan. I looked over all my orders and went over
what I could make without tasting and what I needed to taste. Breakfast sandwiches, lunch sandwich
platters, yogurt parfaits, fruit trays….all those I was in the
clear. But there were 2 things I just
could not avoid, the first being lemonade.
I had to taste it a few times when making it to check the strength…..especially
when making 15 gallons of it the way I was.
But I feel like I did it responsibly and within reason. I took the TINIEST spoonful sips as I could
and as few as possible. The other item
was hummus. The hummus was more difficult
for a few reasons. One, this was for
recipe development so I was actually creating the recipe that we would be using
to make giant batches. Recipe
development requires A LOT more tasting as you are tweaking it to make it
perfect. Again, I took the smallest
bites possible and had others assist so I could taste it less by going off what
they were telling me. I also tried to
spit it out a few times but let me tell ya…..do you know how hard it is to spit
out pureed food?!? Babies make it look
so easy. Rolling it around in your
mouth enough to get the flavor and then spitting out the now runny mixture is
harder than I ever imagined lol. It’s much
easier to extract the flavor and then spit out something that needs to be
chewed…that’s for sure!
Some might consider this a Whole 30 fail, but I do not. I put careful thought and consideration into
it and did the very best I could in the situation that literally IS MY
JOB. I didn’t do all the things I normally
would. Eat a chunk off that cookie that broke while plattering, pick at the
crispy bacon from the breakfast croissant sandwiches I was assembling, or make
myself a turkey an cheese roll up from the extras in making sandwiches. I truly feel like I stuck to the spirit of
Whole 30 and that is what matters to me.
On the same note, The Boy suffers from what I believe is the
onset of arthritis at the ripe old age of 31 (although he has been showing signs
of it since I met him when he was 22) I would really love for him to do the
Whole 30 and see what results he can get for his inflammation, but he is a full
blown chef by trade. Not a halfsies like
me. Not making simple food that requires
little tasting if push comes to shove…nope.
He’s making intricate food that is constantly changing….which equals a
lot of tasting. It’s completely
unrealistic to think he could go 30 days without eating (tasting) non-compliant
food…...it’s literally our bread and butter (err….ghee and cauliflower?) Sure, we could make sure his meals would be
compliant……but there’s not a chance in hell that he would make the entire time
without something off plan passing his lips.
This makes me think a Whole 30 is
not possible for him, but maybe I’ll consult the headmistress for her take on
this predicament.
The Results
So like I mentioned in the very beginning, this was the
first time that it wasn’t only about weight loss so before I was finally able
to weigh in on Day 31 I made sure to really take a moment to recognize and
appreciate all the other positive changes I had made. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hoping like
hell the number on the scale wasn’t lower. I was nervous! Luckily,
I lost 7.7lbs….I’ll take it! And since
then it has increased to a 10lb loss. I didn’t have the chance to take measurements
before I started which is a bummer, but I’m satisfied with my results even
without them.
Overall, I couldn’t be happier with how my Whole 30
went. I learned so much about myself
(and even more in reintroduction) that I’m hoping will help me lose even more
weight and change more habits...even if they are slow. At this point I’m just looking for progress in
any way I can get it.
Check back for future posts on my Whole 30 tips, my
reintroduction experience, and reviews of Whole 30 compliant products.
