10 Fashion Trends I Just Can't Get On Board With

Now let me start off this post by saying this....I'm no fashion expert.  I don't claim to be one.  So if as you're reading this post you come cross something that you yourself wear on a daily basis and you're thinking...."Whose this broad?  Who the hell does she think she is?"  The answer is: Nobody.  Yep....I'm nobody.   So before you get your panties in a twist and leave me some pissed of comments about how you KNOW you look daayum fine in your high waisted shorts....think of this.  I'm just a girl (in the wooooorld: bonus points if you know what I'm referring to) sharing a few of my current fashion irks.   Come on.....you know you have some yourself!

And I'm a never say never kind of gal.  So I'm completely aware and open to the idea that somebody out there could probably rock the shit out of some of these looks.  I just know I will most likely never be one of those people.

In the words of   The Peas.....Let's get it started!

High Waisted Shorts

Well I already mentioned it in my preface so I might as well get to the high waisted shorts first.  I just don't get it.  Why would you willingly wear mom jeans?  You know....the ones that make your butt as flat as a Plasma TV and pockets that go on for miles.  I just don't see the allure....which may seem odd seeing how just last week I posted that I bought a high waisted bikini.  I don't know....something about the bikini seems more retro and cute where as the denim shorts just scream MOM ASS.  Am I the only one who sees a huge difference between the two?

And acid washed....

And the absolute WORST of the WORST is the extra puffy/baggy in the pelvic area ones that are rolled.  Uuugggghhhh!!!!'

Why?????

Crop Tops

We get it....you have a flat stomach (at least you really should if you wear this) but damn....is it really necessary to only wear half a shirt? I feel like it just screams LOOK AT ME!

And just to make matters worse they always seemed to be paired with those god forsaken shorts

I think this particular combination of shirt (well....half shirt if you want to get technical) and shorts is more annoying to me right now because I just got back from Disneyland and unfortunately 2 of the 3 days I was there were Grad Nights.  All I saw was a sea of this same outfit on every 3 out of 5 teenage girls.  Mom jeans and Clueless shirts as far as the eye could see.  And lots of VERY loud overly projected fake laughing....and lots of flirt punching......but that's another story.

Daisy and Sunflower Print Everything

I remember how in the first grade I thought my sunflower tshirt was the bomb.  Fast forward 19 years and I hate it all.

And look at this disaster....a terrible combination of EVERYTHING I have mentioned so far.  A triple threat!

I had just googled and saved some daisy clothing images when I ran up to Kohls to buy some work paints.  Low and behold they had a whole rack of daisy crap for me to snap pictures of

Grab one in every color while you can! ;)

Birkenstocks

I can't look at these things without thinking of my mother.  She lived in these things when I was little.  She even bought me a pair and I wore them before I knew any better.  I'm sure they're great for your feet like they claim....good arch support and such.....but I just can't get down with the look!

A few months ago my friend Jade sent me an article on Facebook about how they were making a comeback.  She said "Look Wheet! Your mom is in style"   Well I  guess my mother is more fashionable than me....cuz I just can't do it.

 Now even fashion and style bloggers I love are wearing these new metallic ones

And as much as I normally respect thier taste.....Gaaaah!  I can't bring myself to like it even a little bit

Have you noticed a pattern so far??  Yea....me too.  It's all 90s styles coming back and apparently they just don't work well for me.  The only thing to come out the 90s that I still love is flannel and the music.

Pulling us out of the 90s.....

Galaxy Print Crap

Who decided this was a good idea? And how did some many people jump on the bandwagon?

I'd rather not look like a science project

Harem Pants

I've actually never seen this trend on somebody in person.  I think this one is still sort of "out there" for most people and not very mainstream....BUT....I've seen my fair share of it on fashion blogs.  Enough to make me shudder

This look barely worked for Aladdin and it didn't work out too well for MC Hammer either......just sayin.

Wedge Sneakers

My friend Niki said it perfectly about these shoes.  They're like a BAD cross between moon boots and a medical boot.  Yeesh!

Too many velcro-y strips that look like bandages for my taste.  And I can't look at them without thinking of Kanye West.....and he annoys me too.  How ironic

Palazzo Pants

I'm just seeing these pants really take off and I just don't love them

They're like the 2014 version of the 2005 Gaucho pant craze.  Which I sadly took part in when I was entirely too fat to wear such thin cloth over my gigantic ass at the time (but that's another story)

I think there's two main reasons why I don't love them

1. They almost always seem to come in crazy busy prints.  I tend to have a much more neutral and basic oriented style using accessories as the pop of color or interest.  There is just waaaaay too much going on in these pants for me 

2. I don't find the style and cut to be very flattering.  I feel like you have to be stick skinny to pull this off.  You might think that since they are so flowy and roomy that it would be good for camouflaging..... but I think it does just the opposite.  A skinny girl wearing flowy stuff is fine because you know it's just a loose fit and that under all that is a skinny little body.  A bigger body in this type of style to me makes it look as if you are trying super hard to cover yourself up....thus making it seem like you are bigger than you really are.  Does that make any sense to anyone else??

I will say though....if I ever find a pair at a super amazing clearance price I would totally buy them and wear them as house pants or to bed.  I can't deny that they do look amazingly comfortable

Peter Pan Collars

There are 3 reasons I don't like this whole collar action

1. They are usually attached to an already frumpy frock of some sort

when did frumpy school girl become a cute look?

2. Or they make what would otherwise be a cute outfit ugly.  Like these....take away the collar I would like it 

the collar just ruins it for me

3. They look about as comfortable as a noose.  I don't like crap all up in  my neck and throat.  Makes me feel like I'm suffocating

Lucky for us they even make Peter Pan Collar necklaces so you can frumpify and outfit as you see fit ;) No sewing necessary

And don't even get me started on the lace doily ones!

Rompers

I almost didn't even include this one....cuz I actually don't hate it.  In fact I like it enough that I've tried them on a handul of times but it ALWAYS ends badly.  I think I've finally learned and accepted that it just isn't going to happen

I also realized that it isn't just me.  I think it requires a very specific body type to pull it off.  You need to be skinny and have the right torso to leg ratio.  Any one of those three being off a little bit can throw the entire look off.

Very few girls can pull this look off successfully in my opinion, but those few that do are what kept making me try and try again.  

Like look at Lauren Conrad....it looks great on her!

And Nicole and Blake look good too

 

The rest of us just look like we're wearing a giant printed adult diaper. I wish I had pictures of the monstrosity that is me wearing one.  It's bad.....real bad!

Here's some not so good ones....

 

Well there ya have it folks....10 trend I just can't get on board with.  What trends do you wish would go away?  Are any of these on your list?

Avocado and Hearts of Palm Salad

Calling all Bethenny Frankel fans......

Remember that episode of "Bethenny Getting Married" where she has a book signing at Costco and only like 3 people show up?  So she scams out and goes grocery shopping instead?

Of course you remember the episode!....you're a huge fan!

Well do you remember how excited she got over finding the hearts of palm?  That pregnant broad was PUMPED.  And I actually remember her excitement getting me all excited.  Like man.....I should really try that stuff!  If Bethenny is clapping her hands and jumping up and down while preggo it must be pretty damn good right?

I had all the best intentions of buying some to try....and never did.

That was until I found row upon row of it at 99c Only.  And honestly....I'm pretty sure I did a similar clap and dance to Bethenny.  And for a dolla! 

It was then that I finally knew the love that is the heart of palm.  Crisp without being crunchy it has a mild flavor reminiscent to artichokes.  Texture wise I would say it's like an artichoke heart but slightly firmer.   It's just yummy and you should try it ASAP.  Like in this salad.......

Avocado and Hearts of Palm Salad

3 cans hearts of palm, cut
4 avocados, diced
2 pints grape tomatoes, halved
6 green onions chopped
1 small (or 1/2 medium or large) red onion, shaved with vegetable peeler
1 bunch cilantro, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced (I run it over a micrplane for quick mincing)
Zest of 1 lime
Juice of 3 limes
Salt & pepper to taste


Mix all ingredients together and chill before serving.  If you prefer your avocado more chunky  add it last and gently toss ingredients together. I, however,  prefer mine to get broken up and create a sort of "sauce" for the salad.

This salad is perfect for those hot summer months and will surely become a summer salad staple.  I brought this to a BBQ and was surprised how much everyone loved it.

Now go get your paws on some hearts of palm!!!

MoMo Monday- Fathers Day Gift

MoMo has just been soooo busy lately.  Between the naps, playing with string, snoozing, and eating.....she just didn't have time to shop for a Fathers Day gift last weekend.  She's a busy feline.

So we celebrated Fathers Day a week late.  Here she is giving her daddy his gift

Close up......

Not bad for not having thumbs huh?

And in case you wanted to make one yourself here's how

*Clean a mug (I got mine from the dollar store) with rubbing alcohol
*Decorate with paint pens NOT Sharpie (using Sharpie is a common Pinterest fail)
*Let cure for a few days
*Place in a cold oven
*Bring to 375 degrees and bake for 30 minutes
*Turn off oven and let mug cool in the oven

So easy even a cat can do it!

Happy {MoMo} Monday!

Bra Pong

 When I first presented the idea of a poolside Showerette to my sister (more details on the full party to come)  she text me a few days later asking if she could make one request

I instantly started to sweat and assumed she had changed her mind and hated the entire idea...but of course I replied "sure"

Here one request:  Can we please play bra pong!?!?

Wheew! Sigh of relief....and of course!

I instantly began researching it all over Pinterest and Google. There were a TON of pictures....but nobody had any real directions on how they actually played it.  And considering my severe emetophobia I have never been to a house party in my life where beer pong was being played....I'm a complete rookie.

That's where I had to consult The Boy.  He explained to me that the actual rules wouldn't work at all so we made up our own rules from scratch....but we''ll get to those later on in the post.

First I'll show you how we made the board.  I hit up Goodwill on 50% Saturday and bought all the bright colored bras I could find

Then I bought a display board.....the first one I've bought since my 8th grade science project. Talk about a walk down memory lane.

I stapled the bras to the board but then later they started to fall out little by little so I hit them with a little hot glue action too.  I put the smaller bras at the top of the board and the bigger ones toward the bottom with the idea being that they are worth more points at the top and less points working down.  It was at this point that I packed it up before finishing and schlepped it over to my sisters house where the party was being held.

We picked up her kids from school and dropped them at the house before running up to the store for the last few things.  That's when my sister got this  text from my niece

I guess a board of bras would be an odd thing to find on your kitchen table as a kid. Haha! 

When we got back we got started on the decorating of the board.  Put the rules for the game on one side and some fun doodles and decorations on the other side.  It was The Boy's genius idea to make the "B" look like a bra.  He's pretty smart sometimes....

Now for the rules.  I always think rules sound waaaaay more complicated when they are written. It always sounds so wordy.  But once you get it you realize it's not that complicated it all

Here goes:

*The game is played tournament style so make a bracket of everyone playing

*Each match between 2 people has 3 turns - 1 throw per person per turn. 

       -Each turn also has a shot. So there are 3 shots per match

*Each player takes a turn. The person with the highest score per turn wins and the loser takes a shot

*In the event of a tie (whether it be scoring the same number of points or both people miss) the shot from that turn gets moved to the next turn, so the stakes get higher

*For example, say both players miss the shot in the first turn, that shot moves to the second turn.  In the second turn say a person scores scores higher than the other and wins that round.  The loser then takes 2 shots because the shot from the tied first turn was added to the second turn.

*The person who takes the most of the 3 shots in the match is the loser and is eliminated.  The winner continues in the tournament

Reread it a few times and I promise it won't be so confusing haha

Here's a few pictures of it all in action

Here's the bride

 The 3 shots per match all lined up ready to go

Playing....

And losing......

I think my sister Heather enjoyed losing a little too much ;)

Overall I think it turned out pretty good! It was fun and even those who didn't participate seemed content to watch and laugh at the losers haha

And I've decided I can't part with the board just yet so I have it chucked out in the garage. I'm sure I'll pull it out for a BBQ sometime 

Happy Bra Ponging!

Wardrobe Wednesday- High Waisted Bikini

I never in my life have had a bikini body.  I went straight from the body of a child...... to fat. Haha! I totally skipped over that "young, wear whatever you want and rock it" stage.  So besides the ones I have worn in my sisters backyard for tanning reasons.....I really don't wear them

For the past couple of years I've worn what I call my "Mom suits".  Not that they aren't cute.....because they totally are.  But they are much more full coverage.  One pieces with skirts and such to hold it all in and spare everyone an eyeful.

I had been eyeing high waisted bikinis but just like everything else I was convinced it could never work on me.

After looking at them in admiration for over a year I finally decided I would use my sisters poolside showerette party as my excuse to give it a try. I worked it all out in my head that I think the style would look even better on a curvier body...ya know..pin up style.  I'm curvy...it should work right? This was my way of convincing myself it was ok to try.

I had been looking at them online for a few days when my friend Niki sent me a link to a few that she thought I would like....and man does she know me well!

I fell absolutely in love with a pink and leopard one!  Even better is it was off a website called Ali Express  

Holy crap that site is awesome!.....and bad all rolled into one.  Awesome because it has soooo much good stuff for DIRT CHEAP.  Bad because that could be seriously dangerous.....but at least cheap means you can buy more...right?? ;)

I ordered the suit in a medium because that is the size I have been buying most clothes in lately.....that was a mistake. It showed up and the bottoms were cutting me off in BAD places.  My butt and thighs were puffing over the edges.....it was not cute!

I was about to throw my hands up in the air and be defeated and tell myself that I was right all long and these types of things will just never look good on me.  After pouting for a few minutes I got over it and just decided to order it again in a large.  That's what makes this site so great....I got them for so dang cheap ordering it again was no big deal.  Shipping was free both times and I got both FULL SETS for under $20.  Can you believe it??  I wouldn't be able to get a one comparable suit for that price in the stores...let alone two!

I got it in just in time for the party...the day before. Talk about cutting it close!  I wore it for the party and felt relatively comfortable with myself....as much as I could for wearing a 2 piece

When my sisters wedding rolled around I decided to wear it again at the beach and snapped this picture

Suit: Ali Express
Hat: 99c Only

There are a couple things that in my opinion make this particular bikini more successful on my body. The amount of stomach that shows is VERY important.  I've seen higher wasted bikinis that don't come up as high and are just under the belly button.  I NEEDED it to cover my belly button.  My tummy roll is right under my belly button so I needed that coverage.  Having it stop at the belly button would have only drawn more attention to my problem area.

I was also adamant on finding one with buttons.  I feel like the buttons break it up and keep it from looking like just a pair of granny panties or a big pink diaper.  It needs that detail in my opinion

Back to the money aspect of this bikini....after I bought it I ended up searching "Leopard and pink high waisted bikini" on Pinterest just to see.  My exact same bikini popped up multiple times as Etsy listings.  People were selling them anywhere from $30-$50.....when I paid under $10 for mine!  

Obviously people are buying them dirt cheap on Ali Express and reselling them themselves and making a huge profit.  Good for them!!.....but that kills me!  So word the the wise....I know on Etsy you think you find things you can't seem to find anywhere else.  But I have found multiple things now on both Ali and Ebay for cheap cheap cheap that are exact Etsy listings

If you're a frugal gal like myself always check these sites first.  I'm sure you'll find something you love at a good price

So there's the saga of me and the bikini...hope I didn't bore you too much!

Happy {Wardrobe} Wednesday!